AKA Princess Woobanna and Boney the Magnificent, Warrior Maiden and Part-Time Barmaid at the Droopy
Dragon.
This site is
dedicated to promoting the Bronwyn & Boney series of books
– humorous fiction works set in the Fantasy Realm. The
author is currently seeking a publisher for the first book in
the series, which is outlined below.
In the meantime, to express an interest
in the book and to receive the first three chapters of
Bronwyn & Boney and the Goblin Horde, for FREE
Bronwyn and Boney are not your ordinary, run-of-the-mill
dogs:
Bronwyn is a slightly arrogant, snobbish corgi who likes to eat, sleep and have her tummy tickled, pretty much in that order. Being a lost Princess she expects a representative from the Palace to arrive at any moment to return her to her rightful place. In the meantime she is making the best she can of life with the human Pack Leader and his Lead Bitch on their Pack Lands. Life is tough, especially as she only has one servant to attend to her needs; a Handmaiden in the form of Boney.
Boney, a very imaginative but slightly skittish Scottie, remains unconvinced about her alleged Handmaiden status. She likes to go on walks and read books. [This may strike you as strange but then so would many of the things that Boney and Bronwyn get up to. You see, dogs aren't quite as ingenuous as you might think. For instance, did you know that they have Back Pockets, which are very handy for carrying things like your dictionary, notepad, mobile phone or battle axe.]
Despite a turbulent introduction Bronwyn and Boney have got used to each other over the years and, other than the odd bickering argument, they get on pretty well. Boney accepts that Bronwyn is a snob
who likes to get her own way [and sulks if she doesn't] and Bronwyn reciprocates by allowing for Boney's overly active imagination and indulging her in her flights of fancy.
However, Boney's imagination, fuelled by various events and encounters whilst out on walks etc…, combined with her late night reading [currently The Lord of the Rings] is about to get them embroiled in a quest to save the world - or at least the Fantasy Realm.
You see, in the Fantasy Realm Bronwyn really is a princess; the Princess Woobanna - a spoilt, mouthy brat who is heir apparent to the throne. She has absolutely no idea about life outside of the Palace and is used to getting everything her own way. Boney on the other hand is Boney the Magnificent, Warrior Maiden and Part-Time Barmaid at the Droopy Dragon.
Our Fantasy Realm heroines meet in the first chapter when Boney the Magnificent rescues Princess Woobanna from the clutches of a band of goblins. Rather than being happy about this the Princess is rather put out that Boney is not a knight in shining armour and is, in fact, quite common. Boney, aspiring heroine, has her own thoughts about knights in shining armour but, reward money in mind, she holds her tongue - but who knows how long that can last? And so our co-heroines get off to a rather shaky start.
Chapter Two opens with the revelation that the first chapter has been a dream - a dog's dream. For this is where the Fantasy Realm exists, in Boney's dreams.
Or does it? After a while Bronwyn starts having exactly the same dreams as Boney, except from the Princess's perspective and so as the adventure progresses it becomes less and less clear if it is a dream - Boney for one is convinced it's all real.
The main adventure is set in the Fantasy Realm, which is fully furnished with cities, forests, downs, castles, lakes, etc… (map provided at no additional cost to the reader) and equipped with its own resident population of weird and wonderful beings. It has a fundamentally medieval setting (fighting with swords, battle axes and the like) but this doesn't stop the odd technological advancement from cropping up, e.g. mobile phones and skateboards, to liven things up. And of course there are a number of doggie innovations to be explored, such as Wee-Mail and News Posts.
The adventure in the Fantasy Realm is interspersed with Bronwyn and Boney's real world (or Prosaic Realm) experiences, which fuel the 'dreams'. Whilst things in the real world are much more prosaic the dogs still get up to far more than mere humans can imagine, playing Scrabble and using the internet for instance.
The gist of the storyline is that Black Graksox and his Goblin Horde are trying to invade the Fantasy Realm from the Nether Pits. They were banished there long ago by the first King of the Fantasy Realm, Old Mad Grinder de Bones, who then created a magical barrier to seal them in. However Graksox has torn a small rip in the Barrier and has slipped through with a few of his goblins in an attempt to bring down the Barrier for good (or evil!). Without going into details he needs two things to achieve this; the Crown Jewels and a blood descendent of Old Mad Grinder.
It turns out that Boney the Magnificent (and not the Princess Woobanna, much to her disgust) is the only surviving blood descendent of Old Mad Grinder and so Graksox lures her into a trap. However, as Graksox is about to cast a powerful spell to unleash the power of the Crown Jewels the spell is disrupted. The resultant forces cause the Crown Jewels (an Orb, a Sceptre and a Crown) to be inadvertently teleported to various locations in the Realm.
Boney the Magnificent goes on a quest to retrieve the Crown Jewels before Graksox can get hold of them again. She is then planning to use their power to banish Graksox once more and to repair the rip in the Barrier so the Horde cannot get through and destroy the Realm. The trouble is she doesn't know how to use the Crown Jewels and nobody seems to be able to help.
Meanwhile Princess Woobanna is planning to run away from the Palace after humiliating herself at a ball by tripping over her own dress. But she isn't stupid and doesn't want to be told off when she returns so she comes up with the legitimate excuse of looking for the Crown Jewels - they are hers after all.
Inevitably Princess Woobanna and Boney the Magnificent meet up again and they agree to try and complete the quest together. Of course they tend to wind each other up and spend a lot of time bickering but this is all part of their charm.
They have many adventures including encounters with Dobbin Hoof and his Merry Mutts, Tim Armadillo, Moira the Adorable Snowman, Indy, Anna and Jones the Treasure Seekers, the Stinkas, Smog the Smoke Dragon and Count Vaxula the Vampire to name but a few. And all this is just a prelude to the final encounter with Graksox and his Goblin Horde.
Between them they have courage, stoicism, lovable arrogance and immaculate dress sense, not to mention Magnificence and Divinity [did I mention that Princess Woobanna is also a Goddess?]. But, with the fate of the Realm in
their paws, can this unlikely yet endearing duo really pull it off?
If you would like to read more about Bronwyn and Boneys'
adventures please register an interest in receiving the
first three chapters for FREE by...
Royston Wood lives with his wife, toddling child and dogs (Bronwyn and Boney) in Devon, England.
Whilst his wife goes out to work to earn a living for the family he spends his time looking after the toddling child (and toddling is such a simple, almost cute word that covers, or indeed covers up, such a wide range of behaviour, moods and activities - as anyone whose got one will testify). In his quiet moments, say five minutes a day, Royston writes.
This has not always been the case. He has had a number of diverse careers; rising from pot washer to second chef in the catering game, casual delivery unloader to assistant manager in the retail business and office manager to qualified solicitor in the legal field.
But having spent a decade in full and part-time study to become a solicitor, Royston decided that he really didn't like the job all that much after all. So, with the backing of a much put upon loving wife, he left and began afresh as a general horticulturalist in a commercial nursery in Cornwall. In many ways this was the beginning of the Bronwyn and Boney adventures - when faced with a large greenhouse full of plants and told to take 30,000 cuttings, the mind has to do something!
What started as a mind game began to get serious when pen was put to paper (or at least fingertip to keyboard). And writing began in earnest when he left the commercial nursery to look after his newborn son and heir. (You would have thought that eighteen months experience in a nursery would have helped but, much to his chagrin, it seemed that babies didn't act in quite the same way as plants - although thankfully they aren't quite so easy to accidentally kill off, maybe because they make a lot more noise when they're hungry and thirsty.)
A year on the first book in the series - Bronwyn & Boney and the Goblin Horde - is complete and the author is currently seeking a publisher. The second book in the series is currently being written.
For the first time since leaving school the
author is happy with his 'working' life - it is something he
enjoys doing, a thing he only thought happened in dreams and
stories!
Fantasy books | Unpublished
books | Publishers | Author seeking publication | Novels
Fictional humour | Books about dogs | Fictitious books | Funny
stories
Humorous books for adults and teenagers
